20 of the Most Irritating Things About Living in a Hairy World, While You Have No Hair

     Living in a world dominated by hair while being a bald woman for most of my life can be irritating, to say the least. This is the negative post about being hairless, the positive one will be sure to follow shortly. These are some of the things I've noticed and dealt with from those with hair, while being bald.

Me, bald, with my twin and her mile long hair!

     1. Armpit hair. Plain and simple, it grosses me out. Now I know this is normal, by all means, but hair in general has begun to slightly gross me out and hair in an armpit, be it male or female, just grosses me out. Yuck!

     2. When their hair touches you. It is the strangest sensation. It is a weird combination of tickling and being afraid you walked into a spider web or there's a bug on you. Now I'm not one to lose my shit at the sight of a bug on me, but I generally don't want bugs thinking I'm a rather large play ground to frolic on.

     3. Not being able to recreate any awesome hairstyles. I mean, loosing your hair at 10, before we even did our own hair, makes you a little out of practice when it comes to hairstyles. I mean, I have a better skill level than men, and my brother still opts for me to do my niece's hair, but I'm definitely not at my sister's level. Who has, like a normal girl, learned a variety of tricks and stuff to do with her down-to-her-butt hair. Sorry Tay for that off center pony tail, but it's the best Auntie Baldy can do today, so we're going with it!


     4. Hair in the sink. Nothing makes me wanna barf more than that disgusting hair nest that clogs up a sink drain. Well, maybe it makes me wanna barf less than the next item on the list.

     5. Hair in the shower. The drain never clogs when I'm in the shower. I never simultaneously have to take a shower and a bath because the drain has clogged. But this happened often when both my sister and I lived at home. And this was always the case if I showered following my sister. I grew smart and made her clear the drain every time before I even got in, as the water was still heating up. (I couldn't shower before her because she'd take like 500 hours in the shower just to wash all that hair and shave. AND then she'd have to dry and style said hair.)

     6. Hair balls everywhere. Like literally. EVE-RY-WHERE. I only ever heard of hair balls be associated with cats, but nope, our house still accumulates hair and dust balls in the corners of the house, and my sister hasn't lived here for over two years. My mom's hair is short, I have no hair, and my dad shaves his head, so how they hell could this be happening still?!

     7. Bobby pins everywhere. Again, literally. Why? And where in the world do they come from? I don't ever need bobby pins, but I can almost guarantee a rebellious bobby pin has made its way into my purse.

     8. Hair ties/ headbands everywhere. Currently, after my sister's Easter weekend visit, there sits 2 hair ties on the bathroom counter, hopelessly awaiting her return. These are also some of the items that have been known to slip themselves into my purse. And it never fails, friends ask me for hair ties all the time, but end up laughing hysterically at their own question before finishing.

     9. All the hair paraphernalia. Blow Dryer, Curler, Straightener, etc. This all leads to cluttered counter tops and I can't hang. they just create mess with all their cords and accessories. Get them outta here, I need room for my makeup paraphernalia!

     10. The people who don't take care of their hair. I almost feel like this is an injustice to the hair. And a misuse of privilege. Because, you know, if I had hair it would be bangin' like 95% of the time.

     11. Pulling mile long hairs out of my clothes. Like seriously?! You had to invade the washer and dryer too. This is another thing that sticks around long after my sister leaves. Thanks, Lauren!

     12. The fact that my mom and dad have paid for numerous hair cuts, dye jobs, stylist tips, etc. Where is my equivalent dolling out of cash?

     13. Having no eyelashes. This means everything in the world gets into my eyes. I mean seriously my baby nephew has spit up in my eye! Now, I don't know if eyelashes could have helped this problem, but I'd like to think they would have. Also, because of not having eyelashes and everything getting in my eyes, I constantly have watery eyes. Such a bitch for makeup!

     14. I keep receiving hair products in my Ipsy subscription. I have started a collection of things I can't use. My friends and mom luck out every month though.

     15. When riding the tram at Disneyland and the random bitch's hair, from the row in front of you, blows in your face. Plain and simple, this is disgusting to me. Keep your hair to yourself!

     16. Waiting on others who have hair. Quick typically cannot be included in their vocabulary. Hair takes a long time to deal with, unless they're going for the homeless look. Which, sometimes, I completely encourage and accept, for the sake of time.

     17. Dating... or the severe lack thereof. Or maybe that is just my #fatgirl-ness, or the combination of both being fat and bald? Who knows?

     18. Having to watch all the hair tutorials from the YoutTubers you subscribe to, just to mark them as watched. Can we say irrelevant?

     19. Finding a hat to go with certain outfits. I certainly can't rock my baseball cap with an interview outfit. Do I go with the extremely hot winter white angora hat? Or do I dare just go bald?

     20. On a similar topic, what the fuck am I supposed to do for my wedding... assuming I get to that point in my life!

Bonus Jonas: No eyebrows to make my makeup look bomb. They really do frame the face and I just feel like my make up would be 100 if I had some brows to help me out. And let me tell you, drawing on eyebrows is hard as fuck!