1. Crop Tops.
This applies to the #fatgirls the most! And the little girls, like you're 5, we don't need to see your belly button. Why wear a shirt at all if its this small and barely covers your boobs? Don't get it.
2. High-waisted shorts.
Uhm, last I knew high-waisted jeans were mom jeans. I don't care if you just chopped the legs off, they're still mom jeans. And they give the worse camel-toe for girls who aren't stick thin and try to wear them. Ain't nobody got time for that camel-toe. It doesn't look cute and I KNOW it can't feel good. So, please do everyone a favor and just stop with these shorts. #ew #anotherfatgirlone
3.The Obsession with Pin-Up.
I'm so tired of this obsession. While some girls look like they were made for the Pin-Up era, there are so many girls who just weren't. This style is not an invitation for every tattooed pretty girl to become a car show groupie, a rockabilly lover, and a pin-up girl. The style itself is hard to perfect and most girls who try miss the mark, and thats mainly why I think these ladies should just leave the Pin Up style alone, don't mess with something that isn't broken.
4. The "fade-in" eyebrow.
I am all about good eyebrows and the girls that have these ones are doing better than those that have butchered them, but still these are bad, so bad!! Why do you want your eyebrows to have a fresh fade? Are they supposed to be ombre? To me, they look like a loading bar. Ya know, whenever you're posting pics in an album on Facebook or you're installing an update, the bar that slowly but surely fills up. That's what they look like! Like you forgot to upload the rest of your eyebrow, I don't know, it's just a trend I can't get behind.
5. The shorts where your pockets hang out.
Like whaaaaaat?! I mean the pockets have to be like extremely long, or the shorts have to be like wayyyyyy too short. Your pockets belong in your pants. This really upsets me because I have some jeans, normal, floor-length jeans, that have the smallest pockets- like I can't fit my hand in, like they only hold 2 quarters, side by side, like why did they even include this tiny of a pocket on a pair of pants? Those are just as dumb as these long ass pockets on these.
6. Still worse- Shorts that allow your actual butt to hang out the back.
While the fellas might appreciate this, and some of the girls that swing that way might, it is wrong on so many levels. I can guarantee the public does not, I repeat, DOES NOT want to see your ass while you're at school (little girls- actually you'll probably get dress coded and have to wear PE shorts, just like you should!), while you're walking around a mall, or while you're at a restaurant. I'm gonna say a good like 87% of people don't care about you or what you're wearing, but as soon as they see you rocking these stupid shorts, they care. They care because they want you to cover up. Maybe they don't want their significant other, be it boy or girl, staring at your ass. Maybe they don't want their little kids pointing and snickering about the girl who has her "booty" hanging out. One's butt is made to sit on, and I mean really, why are you trying to be modest in covering up the other 90% of your butt, if you're gonna show the 10%, show the whole thing. You look dumb, like you can't fit in them. But please, don't ever get to this extreme case of showing the 90% while hiding the 10%.
BE WARNED.YOU CAN'T UNSEE THIS!
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| An extreme case of "Butt Hanging Out of Pants-itis." Never Okay. |
7. Big-brimmed Fedoras.
I feel like these are too weird. They're like the bastard kid of a fedora, an Indiana Jones hat, and a large-brimmed floppy hat that no-one likes. And they're just weird. I say, make a decision and pick one, bitch. Or how about you buy all three styles and rock the shit out of them separately, but this weird combo has got me feelin' some type of way, one that's definitely not good.
8. Round Circle Sunglasses.
Don't freak Kels, I know you can rock them, and you do it extremely well!!
They are just too out there for me. I can't wrap my head around these little babies. They belong on Harry Potter, and maybe that's why some of the girls like them, because they're obsessed with Harry Potter, but mostly they just look like bugs. Or like they're on drugs. Because they are modeled after the infamous John Lennon glasses and everyone knows how the Beatles and drugs go hand in hand! These are one of the more acceptable trends I don't like, but still, they had to make the list.
9. The tie-dye shirts with wolves, and various other animals, printed on them.
I mean, seriously. These are popular because of what reason? I see nothing cool, cute, or awesome about these. I mean these are for the weirdest of the weird, those art festivals that are held in tiny forest communities, types of people. Not intended for the cute boy in the beanie you've been secretly eying.
10. Over the top, exaggerated falsies.
When you put falsies on that basically touch your eyebrows, that is doing way too much. You need to dial it down bitch, and just enhance your natural eyes, don't put on mini accordion fans and act like you're pretty. Last time I checked, Instagram is not a modeling agency, and you're not going anywhere with those shits attached to your eyes. Calm your tits and buy a normal pair of falsies. And Kels, my dear loyal reader, and Lauren, My mandatory reader, I KNOW you know who I'm thinking of! Really, though, some girls be lookin like:
BONUS: The obsession with Cats.
I just really don't like cats, so this is very disturbing for me. Okay internet, I'll give it to you, Grumpy Cat was funny, the first 10 times I saw it, but this new addiction to cat everything has got me so weirded out. NOT a fan. Slow your roll and how about we have plain clothes so we can accessorize, or more clothes with glitter? Glitter is always good!
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